A Woman of Substance

All of us, especially during our growing up years, would always have an aunt or an uncle that we look up to. If I were to be asked who among my aunts I admired most, it would be my Tita Normallah, my mom’s first cousin, because of her beauty and the kindness she has always shown me.

When I was about ten years old, she would ask to see the poems that I wrote. That really meant so much to me because making poems was a childhood passion and Tita Normallah really seemed interested in them. I was growing up in Saudi Arabia during those times while she was also with her parents, the late Congressman Sultan Haron al Rashid Lucman and the former Governor Princess Tarhata Alonto, and her other siblings. They moved to the said country to escape the Marcos dictatorial regime. Congressman Lucman and Governor Tarhata were good friends with the late Senator Benigno "Ninoy" Aquino, Jr.

Although we see each other from time to time these days, I actually got to have a heart to heart talk with Tita Normallah a couple of years ago in the Centennial Terminal Two airport when we were both on our way to Cagayan de Oro City from Manila. Unknowingly to us, we were booked on the same flight. I was curious about her this time as an adult and not as a child admiring a grown-up person. I asked her about her childhood years as a politicians’ daughter, her divorce, her political career, and her being a mother to seven children whom she refers to as her “jewels”.

Coming from two of the prominent clans of Lanao del Sur, the Lucmans and the Alontos, I asked her how her childhood years were.

“I’d say mine was more complicated yet grand if you know what I mean,” she said. “Both of my parents were considered royalties and they were both politicians. I was betrothed at a very young age. I went through tough times in living up to the traditions. Of course, times have changed, the culture is still preserved but somehow it is beginning to relate with modernity nowadays. I instill the culture in my kids, but with regards to arranged marriages, I don’t think I will let them go through with that.”

During her childhood years, I asked her what incident stayed in her memory. She said, “It was the time of Jabidah Massacre, I think. There was anger and hatred of the Muslims towards the Marcoses. My parents were Liberal leaders, so you can just imagine how tough these years were for me. So many events took place in our family.”

Tita Normallah was able to attend the Philippine Women University in Manila but her marriage did not allow her to finish her studies. I asked her how a teenager’s life was during the 60s especially that of a Maranao girl like her. She said, “Well, despite the fact that my parents were politicians and were from royal families, I don’t recall having bodyguards and guns to protect us. We knew that the people wouldn’t harm us. My family has always been strict. My brothers and cousins were always around to look after me. Guys of that time couldn’t easily talk to me. Suitors would have to go to my house to court. But of course, I was known for being suplada to men. So I only entertained some of them.”

A royal princess in the Maranao tribe can never escape being engaged to a prince of the same tribe, even if they did not know each other. She got married during her teenage years to a man she did not know at all. How was she as a wife?

“I’d like to believe that I was a good wife. I treated my husband like a king. I was loyal, honest, obedient and sincere to him.”

As the years passed by, fate ended their marriage recently. However, she does believe that there can be successful marital unions if there is true love, compromise, trust and putting GOD at the center of the relationship. But of course, she believes there is no such thing as a perfect marriage.

As a mother, her kids say she has always been a loving one. She tries to be as close to them as she can and attends to their needs. They share secrets with her and she in return gives advices. She confesses she is strict but not hard on them. “My love for my jewels continuously grows and molds me to being a better mother to them,” she said. I asked her if she would be the one to choose her children’s lifetime partners and she replied, “I want them to marry for love. Their spouses should be their choice, but upon my approval. Of course, I want them to marry a Muslim.”

As of the moment, Tita Normallah is a businesswoman, owning a plantation in Lanao del Sur. She became a Provincial Vice Governor of the said province and then a Regional Secretary of the Department of Tourism in the Autonomous Region for Muslim Mindanao.

When did her political career start? “When I was a child,” she narrated, “I promised myself that I would never be a politician like my parents. I felt that they gave more time to other people than to us. But my outlook on politics changed after my dying father asked me to continue the struggle. His death was the birth of my political career. I realized that there was fulfillment in helping and serving our people. I was happy doing exactly what my parents did in the past. Except that this time, my children were still my priority. Being a mother is still my most loved career.”

As a Provincial Vice Governor, Peace and Order was her forte. She was able to settle numerous conflicts within families. Her most unforgettable was when she tried to stop a “rido” (feud/clash) at her father’s hometown, Bayang. There were tanks around and many tried to stop the conflict but she was the one who was able to ask for ceasefire. She had to spend her first New Year away from her kids.

Another achievement she has made was when she succeeded in inviting Dr. Magee of Operation Smile for a medical mission in Lanao del Sur. It was a great success for a lot of children with harelip were operated on.

With everything that she has experienced, from being born to a political family, to having an arranged marriage, to escaping to another country from the Marcos dictatorship, to being a mother, to being a politician and a government official herself, to a businesswoman, she believes that her children’s success would be her greatest achievement in life. “If you are a success in everything except for your children, everything else is meaningless,” she said.

She is a devout Muslim and believes she has attained a close connection with the Supreme Being. She narrates, “He has given me so much but the most precious gift He gave is life. Therefore life should be lived meaningfully and deeply valued because if you truly do, life would indeed be great.”

As I said before, I admired Tita Normallah for her elegant beauty and her genuine concern for people. But now, it is not only for those things that I look up to her. It is her strength, her courage, her resolve, and especially her being a good mother.

A lot of people nowadays are too smitten about worldly and material things such as money, cars, big houses, jewelry, plastic surgery, liposuction, etc. But for Tita Normallah, though she has the family background, the connections, the brains, the looks and the wealth to live a worldly life, she chooses to be a real and a simple person. She is a helpful relative, an obedient daughter, a supportive wife, an excellent mother, and a truly amazing and genuine person.

For me she would always be this special aunt of mine who is an outstanding example of a woman of substance.