The Mother In Me

I have played many roles in my life. The first role I played was that of a daughter on July 21, 1971. I also became the first granddaughter of my father’s parents who eventually took me in as their 2nd child since my father was an only offspring.

I was in my early teens when my real parents took me in. There in Marawi City, I became the eldest sister to my siblings. Discovering high school and college friendships, I learned how to become a loyal and true ally. Reaching the age of twenty-seven, I became a wife and a year later, a mother.

Of all the roles I was able to enact and am currently enacting, it is that of being a mother that is life-changing and educational. First, it educated me on the meaning of Unconditional Love… a love that is so strong and powerful that you can generously offer all of it without expecting anything in return.

Second, being a mother trained me on how to be patient. Patience is slowly mastered when small babies beside me are both crying out for attention after a hard day’s work.

Third, it taught me how to be afraid. My child’s small cry or moan would scare the wits out of me. When my sons would be hospitalized, I swear I would literally go crazy and ask God if He could transmit the pain to me instead.

Ironically, while being afraid, being a mother teaches you to be brave. Although the sight of needles pricking through skin can make me faint, I had to calm down my son and hold on to his hand when the nurses at the Emergency Room had to place an IV on his wrist. The cowardly mother mutates into a firm and fearless woman.

The experiences I have of being a mother helped break down the barrier I secretly built between my Mom and me. I did not grow up with her and so our relationship was a bit strained and just cordial. I remember the first time I was about to give birth and was experiencing true labor pains. While I was cursing my husband for putting me on that state, swearing off child-making, and screaming at the doctors to take away the pain, my mother went into the labor room and tried to calm me down. She whispered in my ear, “ Jennie, two centimeters only and it will all end. Ten centimeters and it will be over. Just two centimeters more! You can do it!”

I was crying with pain at the same time looking at her in awe. She bore six children and here I was, wanting to die instead at my first. It was at that moment that I saw her as my mother, a very courageous woman. Her voice calmed me down and reassured me that I can do it because she was there to give me the strength I so needed at that time.

In every role we engage in, we have to face them with responsibility and try to perform them with sincerity, hardship, patience, labor and love. We must always have the betterment and welfare of our relationships with the people we love in mind. We are obliged to bear this in mind as we play our roles as parents.

To all the mothers in this world and the fathers who double as mothers (especially My Mommy Bai and my late Daddy Cody whom I miss so much!), Happy Mother’s Day. Job well done!